Shame is held in our wombs!

This blog is about periods and I use the word woman/women a lot, if you are someone who experiences periods and don't identify as a woman and this resonates with you please let me know in the comments. I don't mean to be exclusive or offensive in anyway

I was a very young girl when I started my period, I was 10 and I had only just learnt what they were. I was taught why we had them and how to use the products, no one prepared me for the pain!

I remember the first time, how I felt, what I did, who I told first, such a clear, vivid memory of when I "became a woman". (I do not believe starting your period makes you a woman I was still a child!) I remember feeling ashamed and finding it difficult to speak to my mum about it, although I don't know why I felt that way.

I remember trying to pretend that it wasn't happening, that I wasn't allowed to talk about it. Then when I finally told mum (after a few hours) she didn't believe it could be happening so soon and I could tell she felt sorry for me. She then asked me if I knew how to use the things and if I was in pain, which I was.

The pain only got worse from then onwards, I hated having my period and I am sure so many of you can relate to that. I would be unable to move my legs, doubled over in cramps and crying and even the school nurses and teachers wouldn't believe it was that bad. I was told once that I can't use period pain as an excuse to get out of school because when I start working I wouldn't be able to call in sick. (All of these people were women!)

When I was about 13 I told my dad how it was his fault I was a girl and yelled at him about sperm and X chromosomes, took out my biology books and showed him that it is his fault I "always have a tummy ache". From that day on he has been the most caring and considerate person in my life when I am on my period, he would even go and buy what was needed and make me ginger tea and hot water bottles.

My periods were so irregular, in fact due to being anorexic as a teenager, I stopped having them for months at a time. My relationship with my body was so toxic. I hated the way I looked and I hated who I was. I was so disconnected from myself and had no self love that of course I was in chronic pain and having crippling period pain.

As well as the mood swings, the terrifying anger so powerful people actually stayed away from me, the shame and body-shaming, feeling disgusting during that time of the month. Also being very vocal about it, the more people said you shouldn't talk about your period the more I did. After all it was a natural thing that happens to me and most women every month, why aren't we allowed to talk about it?

Generations of feminine shame all weighing on me and I wanted to break free I just didn't understand it then.

Photo by Gomez Daniel on Pexels.com

Fast forward to 2020 when I began my healing journey, all of a sudden I am learning about generational and ancestral trauma, how the chakras are real energy centres in the body and how we can heal all of this - it finally made sense!

Why I felt ashamed to tell my mum the first time, why I was being shamed by female teachers and nurses and why I wanted to scream about with every ounce of feminine rage I had! I was trying to break the cycle even before I knew it existed.

Since then I have worked on my connection to myself, my body and especially my womb - my sacral chakra.

Even though I studied reproductive health at University and worked in the fertility sector for five years I was never taught how to work WITH my menstrual cycle and utilise the energy and the constantly changing hormones to my advantage. As a scientist we weren't taught how to connect to our bodies just understand how it works.

So this was all new and exciting, scary and triggering too. How can I stop these crippling symptoms? How can I connect to my womb when I hated it? Why did I hate it?

Such important questions for me to ponder upon. How can I reconnect with a part of me that has been shamed for generations. A part that is "unclean" and shameful. My beautiful body was neglected and abused by me because I didn't know any better so how could I forgive myself?

More shame and more guilt building up, period pain getting worse, I still didn't understand that it was here, in my womb, that the shame and guilt was building and remaining stuck. No wonder I was in so much pain.

It is here in our wombs, our sacral chakra, that we carry our power, female expression to it's fullest!

The way our society shames women for just existing, for having periods or not, having sex or not, being in a relationship or single, having children or not - basically anything we do or don't do seems to be a problem! It isn't just men saying this, there are so many women tearing other women down and that saddens me to my core.

We should be lifting each other up, celebrating what makes us women, the similarities and differences! This is why I am so honoured to be working with Womb Heart Health (WHH) which is a social impact company creating bespoke retreats and refuge spaces aimed at supporting and honouring womb wellbeing.

We are for women and by women, and we believe our work is particularly important in the present era of political, population and planet insecurity. We exist so that women can be offered safe spaces in which to feel like women, like themselves, honouring parts of our bodies that the modern world ignores, punishes us for or diminishes. 

It is within this space that I, alongside other fantastic women, will be teaching and coaching women through reconnecting to themselves and healing the shame and guilt that have been passed down through generations. How to heal stress, living in survival mode and nervous system dysregulation - which keeps us in perpetual states of dis-ease and disharmony.

WHH combines scientific understanding of our physiology and emotional energetic connection to our bodies, hearts and wombs, that we are lacking. This will help you to develop a deeper understanding of yourself and allow you to truly honour and love yourself throughout all phases of your menstrual cycle. Healing shame, guilt and pain held in our wombs on a beautiful retreat - what could be better?

Our first international retreat will be in Fort Portal, Western Uganda, from 15- 25 January 2025, join us for 10 days of empowering activities such as yoga, breathwork and meditation, somatic practices and art by the lake. As well as some amazing excursions like vanilla bean farming! Take advantage of our discounted offers, only until 21st November.

For details of our next retreat - Click here