Profound Self Awareness; why is it important and how to start?

As empaths, highly sensitive people or people with social anxiety we tend to overanalyse and overthink things that people have said, how they perceive us, what we said to them, how we might have made them feel etc. I am sure this sounds so familiar! This is external self awareness; understanding how other people view you based on your behaviours, emotions, strengths, weaknesses, values, impact you have on others and so on. External self awareness is very helpful when it is balanced with Internal self awareness, because we are much less likely to overanalyse everything.

Internal self awareness is the way in which we understand ourselves better using introspection and self reflection. Introspection is observing your thoughts, emotions and behaviours and self reflection focuses on the reasons why you feel, think and act the way you do. How do you feel around certain people or in different situations and places, what emotions are coming up, are your thoughts negatively affected? Do certain tastes and smells trigger good or bad emotions and memories? Being aware of the whole range of emotions, and the thoughts that cause these emotions, is important in understanding yourself. Becoming more self aware allows you to identify areas, beliefs and patterns that you need to address in order to heal and grow.

When we make a conscious effort to be aware of our thoughts we can have much better control over them. You are not your thoughts! Our thoughts create our reality. So if you manifested a symptom what emotion has led to this and what thoughts have created that emotion within you? For example, if you think you are not worthy of love, this may lead to you feeling insignificant, therefore you shrink yourself and withhold your voice. Then you manifest symptoms of sore throats, tonsillitis, thyroid issues etc. When you are healing from the symptoms what thoughts and emotions are coming up and are these having a knock-on effect?

Do certain tastes and smells trigger good or bad emotions and memories?

The downside of becoming self aware is how uncomfortable it can be. You will get triggered and past traumas will come up for you to heal through. This is not an easy process and I highly advise having a good support system in place, including a therapist and a life coach. You aren’t always going to like what you find within yourself, you will be embarrassed, angry, overwhelmed, you may feel more inadequate and depressed. Working on reframing your subconscious mind from self deprecating to self love is really important, especially as you will see yourself in a whole new way. One that might be difficult to face without knowing you are safe, supported and loved, by those around you but especially by yourself.

Having self care practices and being gentle and kind with yourself will help you to embody self love. Learning techniques to help you to feel grounded, safe and protected is vital. When doing the healing work, if we are getting overwhelmed and triggered, taking a break is essential. It is heavy work so give yourself grace and take time off from analysing all the thoughts and emotions. There will be contradictions in your thoughts and beliefs, you will begin to see things, people and situations without those rose-tinted glasses on. The truth can be ugly but it will set you free!

Take it slow, there will be parts of you that don’t want to be explored, this indicates that you are not ready for that yet. Healing is done in layers in order to keep the body and mind safe, so don’t rush it and don’t feel bad if you need to take a break from it. Healing is not easy work, but it is worth it!

How can we increase self awareness?

Breathwork, breathing techniques, conscious breathing or just focusing on your natural rhythm of breathing. Focusing on your breathing interrupts your thoughts and allows trauma and tension to be released from the body, it also has a positive effect on your bodily systems, such as your immune system. Focusing your awareness on your breath also helps you to notice what your breathing is like, how your body is affecting your breath and vice versa.

Meditation and mindfulness, including mindful creative hobbies, keep you focused on the present. Be aware of the state of your mind and body, what emotions are you feeling and how are they showing up physically? These are very grounding ways of becoming more self aware and can help you to recharge. Journaling, creative writing and poetry, art journaling, dream journaling, doodling, crafting and making things are all great examples of mindful creative hobbies.

Therapy, coaching, CBT, group therapy etc. are all really great ways of delving in to your thoughts, discovering what your beliefs are about yourself and where these beliefs came from. What have these beliefs led you to think and feel about yourself? How can you reframe these beliefs? Changing your mindset from a negative state to a positive state isn’t easy and is not the answer to true self awareness. This isn’t about toxic positivity, this is about changing your self-deprecating beliefs into self acceptance and self love. As well as changing your actions to be aligned with these new beliefs. Using the example from above, if you feel unworthy and therefore don’t use your voice, telling yourself you are worthy of using voice without actually using your voice is not going to heal you. Taking aligned action is key!

To get started with self awareness try to answer these questions, truthfully and without judgement:

1. What brings me joy?

2. How do I feel joy in my body?

3. Where do I feel safe?

4. How does it feel in my body when I don’t feel safe?

5. Am I accepting of myself? Which parts of me do I find difficult to accept?

6. What creative hobby did I enjoy when I was younger? Why did I stop doing it? What would I need to start it again?

7. How does my body react to burn out?

8. What is my breathing like? Am I able to take a deep breath? How long are my breaths in and out?

Be open to failure! Allowing yourself to fail as this is how you learn and grow, see this as part of the healing process. Learning how to fail without feeling like we are unworthy, inherently bad or spiralling into anxiety and depression is invaluable. However, this can be so challenging, especially after years of being conditioned to believe that failure is not an option. Throughout your self awareness journey you will fail, you’ll fail to understand your bodies messages, you’ll fail to “control” your thoughts, you’ll fail at meditation, you will keep on failing and THAT IS OKAY! It doesn’t mean you should stop. Dust yourself off and try again.