Perforating Perfectionism
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Does this sound like you?
You hold it all together for everyone else, yet when it comes time to care for yourself you realise there is nothing left. You are used to not having the time or energy for yourself, the exhaustion you feel is your baseline. You power through but your body has been paying the price.
Asking for help or saying “NO” is alien to you, it shows weakness and that is unacceptable. You feel like you have no choice but to keep giving, keep grinding, keep showing up for everyone else because what they think of you matters to you.
What if they see anything less than perfection?
No one sees the real you; exhausted, anxious and isolated. You feel like you are on edge all the time, worried something bad is going to happen. Guilt and shame are your predominant emotions; they underlie your behaviour and the decisions you make. These emotions are causing that heaviness in your body and the apathy you feel towards yourself because you don't matter as much as everyone else does.
You know something has to change. But who are you if you are not perfect? The thought of losing such a big part of your identity is terrifying.
Do you really want to stay as you are?
Why you were taught to feel "not good enough"
You were taught that love, approval and acceptance are conditional on how you behave, what you achieve, and how well you perform. You learnt that what you do is more important than who you are. That has never been true, but the systems we live within need you to believe it is.
Capitalism and the patriarchy reinforce this through the media and education system. We are taught that if we work hard we will be rewarded, but are we? As women especially we are bombarded with the message that we are not good enough. This is passed down through generations, it isn't your mum's fault she taught you that, she was told the same.
The more you keep striving, competing, and staying focused on your own "inadequacy" the more occupied you are, and the less time and energy you have to question these very systems.
Perfection is not real. It is unattainable as nothing is ever perfect enough. The goal keeps moving and you keep chasing it, no wonder you're burnt out!
You are not imperfect, you are human!
Perforating Perfectionism: A Path to Self-Actualisation
This is a 3-month 1:1 coaching programme for healing perfectionism, people-pleasing, procrastination and burnout, as well as the physical and mental illnesses that develop as a result. It is about getting to the root causes, not managing the symptoms.
Perfectionism is not only how you behave, present yourself or how you think. It is reinforcing the idea that you are not good enough. It stops you from being able to see any other way. But you are good enough and there is another way.
This programme helps you to understand the patterns of perfectionism that show up in all areas of your life, and how they are draining you. The fears of not being loved or accepted show up in your body too. Find out where these fears come from and finally release them. It is time to interrupt those patterns and create new neural pathways that help you to feel safe being yourself.
I see you because I was you.
I was chronically ill for over 30 years and when I was diagnosed with perfectionism-related depression it opened my eyes to the truth. That is why I designed this programme. I want to share this truth with you: perfectionism is not real. You are good enough just as you are. You are worthy of love and acceptance - especially from yourself.
If you want to read more about this check out the About page.
The Self-Actualisation Method
When your fundamental needs are not met you start to feel unworthy, unsafe, and unlovable. Those feelings are based in fear and they are not serving you anymore.
Do you know what your needs are? Did you know you can actually meet your own needs? You don’t have to spend your life meeting everyone else’s and then wondering why you still feel so alone.
The society we live in prioritises material gain and performance over healing and self-care. It values our productivity but strips away our autonomy by making authenticity and vulnerability look like weaknesses.
To realise and fulfil your potential you need to embrace your authentic self, and with emotional regulation, release and stability that becomes possible.
That is what the Self-Actualisation Method does, through three powerful pillars.
🧠 Profound Self-Awareness
The beliefs you have about yourself, your worth, and your place have been there for years. They are so ingrained that separating yourself from them seems impossible.
But you are not your beliefs. And you are not worthy ONLY when you perform perfectly.
Profound Self-Awareness helps you to discover who you are and who you want to be. Create a deep understanding of yourself, how your past has determined your present, and the story you tell yourself about what you have to offer. Only then can you make the changes you need to in order to have a better future.
Why don't you feel worthy? Why do you look for external validation? What are you gaining? Why do you think more about how other people see you instead of really seeing yourself?
These questions are not meant to shame you, but for you to see the truth in your behaviours that come from fear; the fear that you aren’t actually worthy. But you are! And the more you see yourself the more you will see your worth.
🔥 Creative Self-Expression
When you are convinced that your voice, your creativity, your uniqueness is not worth anything unless it is perfect you stifle yourself. You make yourself smaller and smaller until you feel your value only comes from what you give and how others perceive you.
You have stopped seeing and hearing yourself and are left hoping someone else will. Unfortunately, without being vulnerable you cannot be seen as authentically you! It is so scary to all of a sudden put yourself out there.
Creative Self-Expression gives you permission to be vulnerable, be expressive, be yourself. Not for other people, not for performance, but for you. Privately. Until you have built up enough safety, courage and self belief to share your beautiful self.
The more you allow yourself to express and create freely the more you get to know yourself, and the deeper your awareness becomes.
The more you start to actually like yourself for who you are the more accepting you are of all the “flaws”.
💖 Radical Self-Acceptance
How can you accept yourself when all you see are flaws, imperfections, and reasons why you are not good enough? Your brain looks for evidence of the things you say to it so it becomes very hard to see anything else.
You need courage to be different, to prioritise your health, to go against the grain of societal expectations of perfection at all costs! Your emotional wellbeing is too steep a price to pay!
Unless you practice being accepting and loving towards yourself you will not know how to do it, how amazing it feels, or how worthy you actually are of it.
Radical Self-Acceptance is not an excuse to stay the same, or be mediocre, but a reason to reach for your purpose, your goals, live the way you deserve!
Internal validation becomes easier when you don’t outsource your worth. Then you can start doing things for you, expressing yourself as you are - not how you think you are meant to be! Release limiting beliefs, such as your worth being tied to how perfect and productive you are. When you show up for yourself consistently you build self trust, resilience, and compassion.
Love yourself so much that you wouldn't want anything less for yourself!
What's Included
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9 x 1:1 coaching sessions on Zoom, 60 minutes each
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3 monthly group workshop calls:
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Overcoming the Procrastination-Burnout Cycle,
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Finding Emotional Regulation, Release and Stability,
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How to See Perfectionism Outside of Yourself
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1:1 WhatsApp support for the duration of the programme
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Private Facebook community to connect, share and celebrate each other. You can stay in this group for as long as you feel.
Places are limited to 7 to 10 clients at any one time. Enrolment is rolling.
Investing in your healing
Pay in full: £3,500
Monthly plan: £1,250 per month for 3 months
(Total: £3,750)
What others say
To hear from people who have worked with me and the changes they made, check out the testimonials.
FAQs?
If you have any questions take a look at the FAQ page.